Speaking of Doorknobs

lokis-throbbing-cock:

evil-john-watson:

So does Coulson

So does Coulson

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memosfromfury:

[Submitted by: open-road-air
Junior agents are reminded that despite Dr. Banner’s tendency to drop pronouns and refer to himself in the third person when peeved, he is still far more well educated than you are. If he ever asks you with a haggard look to check his math, be aware that he simply intends to make fun of you for not knowing whether the normal of a manifold is a scalar or a vector. 
“Hulk feeling a little slow,” my ass.]

memosfromfury:

[Submitted by: open-road-air

Junior agents are reminded that despite Dr. Banner’s tendency to drop pronouns and refer to himself in the third person when peeved, he is still far more well educated than you are. If he ever asks you with a haggard look to check his math, be aware that he simply intends to make fun of you for not knowing whether the normal of a manifold is a scalar or a vector. 

“Hulk feeling a little slow,” my ass.]

memosfromfury:

[Submitted by: quietseas
No more ‘Drunk Science’.
PERIOD.]

memosfromfury:

[Submitted by: quietseas

No more ‘Drunk Science’.

PERIOD.]

brony-stark:

spoilers-sweetie19:

what if we find out that phil coulson is alive in captain america 2.

and he wakes up in a hospital bed with steve rogers sitting next to him. and steve starts to laugh and goes, “I hope you don’t mind. I was watching you while you were sleeping.”

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memosfromfury:

[Submitted by: foxwiththeredfeathers

Mr. Stark and Mr. Logan would like to impress upon all S.H.I.E.L.D. employees, consultants, and guests the necessity to please immediately report it if there is ever a shortage in the liquor cabinet.
Also, Director Nick Fury would like to impress upon you all that the fire alarm should not be used to communicate the shortage of alcohol, and the next person to do so will be thrown off the aircraft immediately.]

memosfromfury:

[Submitted by: foxwiththeredfeathers

Mr. Stark and Mr. Logan would like to impress upon all S.H.I.E.L.D. employees, consultants, and guests the necessity to please immediately report it if there is ever a shortage in the liquor cabinet.

Also, Director Nick Fury would like to impress upon you all that the fire alarm should not be used to communicate the shortage of alcohol, and the next person to do so will be thrown off the aircraft immediately.]

memosfromfury:

[Submitted by: notanightlight
For anyone who believes that work hours are the appropriate time to indulge in a game of Galaga, you will desist immediately.  In any case, you aren’t going to beat Agent Barton’s high score.]

memosfromfury:

[Submitted by: notanightlight

For anyone who believes that work hours are the appropriate time to indulge in a game of Galaga, you will desist immediately.  In any case, you aren’t going to beat Agent Barton’s high score.]

crystallizedtwilight:

click for full view!

crystallizedtwilight:

click for full view!

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the conversation i just had with my gas station clerk:
him: Is that a Captain America t-shirt?
me: Yes! Are you into comics?
him: Oh, no, not really. Captain America's the one married to Iron Man, right? I remember my girlfriend saying they got married.
me: ...... Yes. Exactly right.