June 2013
- 90s Animal Planet: Animals are cool, kids! They can be your friends! But watch out, some are dangerous! Ooh, watch Jeff Corwin handle the most venomous snake in Africa! Aw, look at the tiger babies! Oh, let's learn about conserving the environment! Remember kids, we must respect this planet, because it's the animals' home as well!
- 2013 Animal Planet: ANIMALS WILL FUCKING KILL YOU. And guess what? PARASITES WILL TOO! Yes I know those aren't really animals, I guess. OH YEAH HERE'S SOME PSEUDO-SCIENCE ABOUT BIGFOOT. He's an animal too, right? WATCH THIS WOMAN GET EATEN BY HER PET CHIMPANZEE. ANIMALS ARE SCARY, KIDS. BE CAUTIOUS AROUND YOUR PET LIZARD OK. oh look kittens!
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- 90s History Channel: Here kids, we're gonna talk about this society today. History from all time periods and all countries. Isn't this stuff fascinating? Watch us dig up a tomb!
- Early 2000's History Channel: So there's this guy named Hitler. And he's pretty bad. Let us tell you how bad Hitler is. Hitler. Hitler. Hitler. Hitler. More Hiltler. Hey have you heard about this guy named Hitler?
- 2013 History Channel: Aliens moonshiners aliens rednecks aliens pawnshops aliens aliens aliens hey have we mentioned aliens because aliens
let’s play a game called: who the fuck are you i dont remember following you
round 1: what was your old url i don’t fucking know who you are anymore
round 2: you’re not even in any of my fandoms what the hell
round 3: wait - do I know you in real life, making it awkward at school/work/family gathering if I unfollow you?
You know what language I love? Welsh.
I mean
how
can you not
love
this ridiculous
amazing language?
you know our word for ‘microwave’ is ‘popty ping’, right?
Wales, STOP.
Oh God…
…I thought you were joking…
are we going to ignore the fact that this guy
who in one incarnation was raised by a tree
cannot hold the tree pose.
A beginner's guide to music of the late 60s
- The Beatles: love happiness drugs
- Pink Floyd: you're going to die and the government is out to get you
- Led Zeppelin: BABE BABE SEX BABE MYSTICISM BABE BABE BABE BABE SEX BABE BABE
I didn’t choose the fandom life.
The fandom life broke into my house in the middle of the night and said “Dad’s on a hunting trip, and hasn’t been home in a few days.”
